Ain't It Funny
by Zen and Soul
Summary: Mai just dumped Joey. He now relies on a blind date to make his life worth living again. But guess who it is... (Shonen-Ai)
1. It starts

A/N: Ugh, how did I think of this? Anyway, please go easy on me. This is my first fic and I don't want to be hurt.  
  
Yami: Yea, you better, or she'll start crying.  
  
Z&S: I do not cry!  
  
Yami: Remember the time when you lost your pupp -  
  
Z&S: *eyes water up* Don't remind me...  
  
Yami: Me and my big mouth.  
  
~Flashback~ Ryou= Good Bakura | Bakura = Yami Bakura ^Yugi to Yami^ +Yami to Yugi+ [Ryou to Bakura] {Bakura to Ryou} There, I have just made you officially confused. (@@)  
  
@*~*~*@  
  
Joey stepped into the shower, already hot and humid with steam. He took a bottle from the rack and squeezed out the soap. He started to wash himself, scrubbing hard. He figured the stench of drunkedness would come out sooner if he did. "Come on, come on!" But the smell wouldn't come off. He scrubbed harder. Soon it got to the point where his skin started to bleed. But still, the smell of cigar smoke and alcohol remained on his skin. He gave up and started on his hair.  
  
'Ah, geez. Why did Mai have to dump me? I didn't know the punch was spiked.' he thought. Joey had no memory of what happened two weeks ago at the party. He was drinking so much that he had blacked out. From the story at Mai's point of view, he acted like a complete idiot. But he didn't know he was acting that way. Just that one day did it. Everything would be ruined.  
  
~ "So, Joey, are you ready?" Mai yelled. "We're going to be late for my cousin's party!"  
  
"Coming, Mai." He fixed his tie and walked downstairs. "So, this party is gonna be at hotel?" Joey asked.  
  
"The best there is. My cousin Jasmine would never settle for anything under 5 stars. Anyway, you look great!" she said, eyeing his suit.  
  
"Oh, this thing? Nice of your uncle to rent me this, cuz if it weren't for him, I'd be embarrassin you. Ya know, the only family member to bring a badly dressed date." Mai laughed.  
  
"Embarrassed? I wouldn't be embarrassed if you wore a toga to the party. "  
  
"Come on, liar" he joked.  
  
"Ok, I would be slightly red, but I'd block all that because I love you for who you are. Nothing can make me stop loving you because this is infinity."  
  
"I guess so,"  
  
"So, come on! We're gonna be late! The limo is waiting for us." He ran after her.  
  
"Wait for me!"~  
  
'God, I was so happy then. But this is now. I'm alone. But hopefully tonight will change everything.' he thought.  
  
'You lied Mai. This isn't infinity. This is pain.'  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~ So, do you like it so far? It's a little melancholy now, but soon things will get much better. If you want me to continue, you can always press the purple button and make my dreams come true. Ooh, pink bunnies!  
  
Yami: She's gone delusional  
  
Z&S: Like you haven't?!?!?  
  
Yami: See what I mean. ~.~  
  
L8R- Zen and Soul (\o/) 


	2. The Memory

Chapter 2  
  
Hey, I forgot the disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does. This story is MINE and not yours. Finders keepers does not count, k? ^_~ The character Jasmine is mine too. (Warning: mild drinking)  
  
He stepped out and dried himself off while he went on with his memory. It was so embarrassing just to think about it, the whole incident, but he needed to remember what went wrong there...  
  
~ On the way to the hotel, Mai went on about her fabulously rich cousin.  
  
"She suddenly came into an inheritance. It was quite strange, though, she had a boyfriend at the time. He was like one of those Harley guys who like a lot of money. It's creepy, he carries a gun. Anyway, he's so disgusting-- it's like he never takes a shower."  
  
A big sweatdrop appeared on his head. So typical...  
  
"Well, anyway, let's have a good time." she said.  
  
He said nothing and nodded his head. And the whole ride from then consisted of Mai telling Joey how to act in front of her family. After a 30-minute drive, which was painfully long, they arrived to the hotel. It was flooded with cars and cabs. They were the only ones with a limo.  
  
"Hmm, I see that I'm Jasmine's favorite." as she scanned the scene.  
  
"I'd be lucky if I could get even one of these cars. Does every person in your family have a fortune in their bank?" he asked.  
  
"Look around--most of the cars are chauffeured. It's obvious, isn't it? Come on, let's go!"~  
  
He put on his clothes and combed his hair. He kept on trying to recall what happened, but everything was fuzzy and distorted.  
  
~They walked inside, hand-in-hand. Inside was amazing: there was red carpet on the walls and the floor was marble. Chandeliers were hanging everywhere and you couldn't walk 5 feet without seeing a finely sculpted statue. The he saw something really beautiful: a girl with short black hair was walking to Mai.  
  
"Jasmine! How are doing? You look great!" Her cousin was in a satin dress with glitter and sequins. It was like Mai's dress, except it was pink.  
  
"You don't look so bad yourself, cousin. So, who's the cutie next to you?" Joey's face turned a bright scarlet. 'Heh, my first compliment from her family!' he thought.  
  
"He's my boyfriend, Joey Wheeler. He's absolutely wonderful, don't you think?"  
  
"Well, I'll have to see for myself, right? Say, Joey, why don't you meet the rest of the family?" He turned red again.  
  
"Uh, sure! Whatever you say!" He walked off.  
  
"Hey, Mai, I forgot to tell you something. Don't drink the punch."  
  
She looked puzzled. "Why?" Jasmine just looked at her.  
  
"Because, the punch has grain alcohol in it. You can't taste it, though. I should have told you sooner, you and Joey being 17 and all..." An old man walked past them.  
  
"Reeves! Can you do me a favor? Please inform the young man in the blue suit to not drink the punch, ok?" The old man nodded. He was obviously the butler.  
  
"I think your boyfriend will be just fine."  
  
The butler stumbled around to look for Joey: the place was crawling with different men in blue suits. Then he noticed something quite different. 'Hmm, no cologne, messy hair--must be him.'  
  
"Umm, excuse me?"  
  
"Huh?" Joey was stuffing his mouth with hors d'oeuvres.  
  
"Please do not drink the punch, since you are only 17."  
  
"Umm, ok." Huh, he didn't even know the punch was there. "Maybe just one cup wouldn't hurt..." He took a sip. "Hmm, this is good. Maybe one more..."  
  
-Somewhat 4 odd cups later-  
  
"So, I said to him, 'You're not the one to tell me what to do you dork.'" His words were very unclear and jagged.  
  
The person he was talking to gasped. "And that was your FATHER? Dear, young man, have some respect!" He walked off in disgust.  
  
"Well, I don't need--" A hush fell over the crowd followed by a scream. He had vomited on the floor.  
  
Jasmine went over to the scene immediately. "Ugh, that marble was $100 expensive. Well, nothing I can't fix." Mai was really ticked at Joey. For embarrassing her in front of her family. For proving that she was a woman with bad taste for men.  
  
'And I thought that Jasmine's boyfriend was bad...' she thought to herself.  
  
"Jasmine, I'm sorry..."  
  
"It's alright Mai. Stuff Happens. You and him can always come here-- when Joey has his boundaries."  
  
"Can- may I borrow a car?" she asked. "Sure, just be careful."  
  
'ARRGGH! He is going to get it when we get back.'  
  
-Later-  
  
"Huh? What did I do?" he asked.  
  
"What did you DO? You completely ruined my life! Jasmine is one of the most important people in my family and you threw up on her floor. Lucky it was marble. Then it wasn't so hard to clean!"  
  
"Listen, Mai--"  
  
"LISTEN!? The butler told you to not drink the punch, NOT, and still, you did! How can I listen to you when you can't do the same?! I can never trust you again!"  
  
"Mai-"  
  
"It's over, Joey. Goodbye." She walked out the door.~  
  
"Now I remember." He looked at the clock. It was 8:00 now. "Oh my God! The date!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Z&S: Ack. the whole chapter was mostly a memory.eek  
  
Joey: You made me drink! How could you?  
  
Z&S: Because I'm the author?  
  
Joey: Oh yes, mighty queen.  
  
Z&S: Was that sarcastic? *Gigantic glare in her eyes*  
  
Joey: *really nervous* Heh, no, really.. please don't hurt me.  
  
Z&S: Sorry about this chapter. I needed to complete the memory, right? BTW: Things get happier. And interesting. VERY interesting.  
  
Joey: THAT CAN'T BE GOOD! SOMEONE SAVE MEEEEEE!  
  
Z&S: Who would? After all, they want to know what comes next, right? ^_~ 


	3. What A Dreadful Thought

Chapter 3.  
  
From all the suggestions I got, I decided to follow my own little thoughts... don't worry, it's still shounen-ai. Since I don't want to disappoint you, I'll include them in some in little freakish way. ^_~ Also, I have my own little sign for a sweatdrop: C Tilt your head to the right.  
  
*************************************  
  
"Oh my God, I need to get ready! So when is she coming?" He checked his calendar. "Hmm, Friday 27, 8:30. Okay, just enough time." So he got himself prepared for everything that was coming.  
  
"Let's see, clean house: check. Neat looks: check. Mann--" The doorbell rung. "Oh no, I'm not ready yet! Ok, Joseph, calm down. It's just a date. With someone I don't know! Ok, calm down. You can't back out now. God, I need a drink. Ok. I'm alright." He got a hold of himself. Or at least he thought he did. "Drinks! I forgot drinks!" It rung again. "What the heck. I'll have to anyway." He opened the door...  
  
************************************  
  
"AAHH!"  
  
"AAHH!"  
  
"YOU!!" They said in unison.  
  
"Ryou??"  
  
"Joey?"  
  
"AAHHHH!!!" They both gave each other funny looks. "What are we screaming about?" Ryou said.  
  
"Well, I was expecting a girl. But lookie here! I get a guy. Which is one of my best friends. Don't you think that's a little weird?"  
  
"Well, I suppose it's a little bizarre..."  
  
"Arrgh, a LITTLE bizarre? Correction: VERY bizarre. What did I do to deserve this?!?!" A sweatdrop appeared on Ryou's head. "Joey, you're scaring me. Please calm down, okay?" His words seemed to reach him. They got to him. It wasn't like that with Mai, never...  
  
"Okay. I'm sorry Ryou. I didn't mean to burst out like that. Huh, I wonder how this happened." He thought about it. "Wait a minute, did you put an ad in the newspaper?" Ryou became very nervous. "Uh, me? M-Me? Heh, no, why would I?" He started waving his hands up and down wildly. There was an awkward moment. A few minutes passed and Joey finally said, "Tristan told me that you broke up with Miho, right?" He nodded his head. "You'd be kinda lonely, right?"  
  
He nodded again and blushed a little. "So, you did put an ad in the personals." It looked like he was about to blow.  
  
"OKAY! I did, but I thought no one would answer it. It was more like a joke..."  
  
'A joke? I don't think so, Ryou Bakura.' he thought. 'This is really freaky.'  
  
"Well, if somebody answered it, I wouldn't have been me. I'm straight."  
  
"But why did you?"  
  
"Umm.. I thought that someone else was coming here."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"A girl, duh!! Ok, it was something like Ryan Kura. Yea."  
  
"Let's check today's paper, maybe there's an explanation." Ryou suggested. He grabbed the paper and read it out loud:  
  
NOTICE: For a practical joke, some of our editors changed the personals a bit. Please refer to today's personals to get the real one. Thank you and have a nice day.  
  
"Aggh. you've got to be. kidding me.."Thump. Joey had fainted. "Ahh! Joey! I've got to do something!" Ryou looked at him. The table had cut his face when he fell down. It wasn't such a shock. He had experienced that with his Yami for a long time.  
  
[Doesn't that look familiar, eh, Ryou?]  
  
{Shut up, Yami.}  
  
[If that insolent pharaoh hadn't locked me in here, I'd knock your lights out.]  
  
{That isn't the case now, I have to get Joey somewhere so I can help him!}  
  
[How about a hospital, baka?]  
  
{You're the idiot. I can't drive!}  
  
He tried to drag Joey onto the couch, but he was too heavy. "Ugh, that's what you get when you eat too much!" The other options didn't work. His muscles ached from trying and he was about to give up. He checked Joey's breathing. "Oh. my. gosh. " He had never done it before. He wasn't quite sure, but he had to try. "Okay, so you're supposed to plug the nose and give one slow breath, right?" It didn't work. He repeated it. And again. "Oh thank God." His eyelashes flickered. "Ohh. hey-was I knocked out? I had the most wonderful dream. Somebody kissed me." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Daring, crazy, unpredictable= Me!  
  
Okay, so this chapter isn't really my best. can you blame me? Schoolwork has cramped my writing. Like, temporary writer's block. And, I'm sorry for the unusual pairing, along with how Ryou talks. He doesn't say idiot or shut up all the time. I am planning to update soon, too. Also: there's a confession to enlighten your minds. Eek. I have strange ideas. C  
  
(\o/)~~~Everlasting 


	4. So Much More

I hope that last chapter wasn't TOO bad. Anyway, you know the disclaimer. Pleeeeease let this be better. *prays* ~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next day, they were acting funny around each other Nobody suspected it, though. "Hey, Joey, so how was your date last night?" Yugi asked. Joey started to get really nervous. Ryou nudged him in the elbow. "Uh, uh...great! Nothing went wrong!"  
  
"Then why do you have a long scar on your face? Come on, Joey. Tell us!" Geez, do they all have to ask so many questions? He thought. "I-I fell down...oh well! It's nothing serious!" Forget what I said. Joey and Ryou left the table. "What are you doing Joey? They'll suspect!" "Don't worry! They'll never find out, I promise!"  
  
~ "Are you okay?" He got up. "Yea, don't worry. But there's something strange. I swear that someone kissed me!" Ryou started to pace back and forth with sweat in his palms. "Um. what do you think?" "YOU! YOU! What the hell were you thinking?! Are you crazy! You. This isn't happening! I'm never reading that newspaper again."  
  
His cut was still dripping with blood.  
  
"Never mind that, I'll explain later. Right now, I have to tend to your wound. It's dangerous to let it keep bleeding. Now, where's the first aid kit?" Joey pointed to a closet. "It's on the top shelf." He opened it and took out some bandages. "When you were in your state of mental shock, you fainted and cut your head on the table and fell unconscious. Now, hold still. This may sting." He leaned over and wiped the seeping gash with a hot cloth. "AAAHHH!"  
  
"Oh, shut up. Typical."  
  
"Heh, I'm sorry. Anyway, thanks for, well, saving my life."  
  
"You were unconscious, it was easy. Hey, what you're doing?" Joey pulled him in. "Thank you."  
  
He leaned in closer. "You're welcome."~  
  
Joey had an annoyed look on his face. "It was just a stupid kiss that meant nothin-" Ryou tugged on his shirt. "It MEANT something. If it didn't, it never would've happened. And, there we did more than just a kiss. You remember, do you? "  
  
"_ It just happened. I'm tellin you, it wasn't anything."  
  
"It was more, Joey." He appeared hurt. "Ok. Maybe it was." It's true, Ryou. I do love you. It's just that, I can't accept that I don't love Mai now. I'm sorry for hiding this. "Ryou, I-" "Maybe it was what?"  
  
"TRISTAN! How long have you've been standing there?" His eyes narrowed. "I just arrived. We've been waiting for you for a long time. Hey, where've you've been, man?" Only Joey can be stupid enough to discuss this in public! We should've done this some other time! "Er, just talking! We'll be back." "Whatever you say, Ryou." Tristan walked away. With a sigh, they looked at each other. In unison, they said as follows:  
  
"That was close."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Er, that was weird. But I don't care. I'm weird too. R/R, please! BTW: it's not done. 


End file.
